a ticking bomb

that's how i feel right now.

I feel that I'm on the edge of something I'm not in control of. I could fall down or hold on but either way, something, eventually has to give.

For the past three months, I realized that I'm in a depressed state. That my life is not going anywhere. That I'm simply, slowly wasting myself.

Am looking for a break-through. Actually, I'm just hoping for one but I don't think I've made any progress. I've reached out to friends but they don't believe that I got any problem at all.

So, am I just being mellow-dramatic here or I'm seeking out the wrong friends.

Maybe a major catharsis or some death wish. :|

(or a religion, too)